He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
