This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
