I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize