the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize