I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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