hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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