it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
