No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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