woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
