I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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