K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She bit a glass in half.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
