i can't believe i had my finger in that
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
