that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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