Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
