Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
