What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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