We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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