I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
