I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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