1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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