You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
