All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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