oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
