So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize