I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
