my sisters under your porch take her home
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
