okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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