How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
