Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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