how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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