ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
