Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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