I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
