you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
