What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
