Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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