U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
