i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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