I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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