Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
