Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
