things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
