the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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