Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
