Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
