Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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