Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
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