pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
