I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
