we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
