so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
