Little spoons don't ask big questions
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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