You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
