Its about making memories worth repressing
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
