Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She announced her abortion via fbk
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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