names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
